I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know what the media thinks and how it portrays my faith and I can honestly say, as an intelligent human being who is very capable and constantly thinks for herself and makes her own decisions, I know that the Book of Mormon is true scripture and another testament of Jesus Christ. I know that we have modern prophets and apostles on this Earth today. I know that Christ atoned for our sins. He lived for us, He suffered for us in the Garden of Gethsemane taking upon Him all of our pains and afflictions, He died for us, and He was resurrected again for us. He did this all so that we can return and live with Him and our Heavenly Father again for eternity. Yes. Again. We lived with our Father in Heaven before we came to this Earth. We learned there that we needed this Earth life to progress and be tested. We also knew and CHOSE what we were getting ourselves into. This is part of what I believe. It's called the Plan of Salvation. Here's a picture version of it:
This has been the calm that I need to get through this most recent storm.
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All of that being said, what I write is to share. If you don't agree with it, or pick it apart to prove that I'm wrong or my religion is wrong. Don't tell me. I'm never changing my mind. Because I KNOW! I know all the arguments and contradictions and I know how I feel and what I see to be true. If you have questions I will gladly answer them or help you find answers.
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When I was 13 and found out that I had this chronic disease that had no cure, I was reading a LDS Young Adult series. One of the characters was young and found out she had diabetes and there was a scripture that she used and it helped me a lot. It is found in the Book of Mormon. The Lord is talking to a group of people that are going to a promised land. They will go over in these boat type things that the Lord explains He would guide and direct.
Ether 2:24 For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth.
When I was 13 that's what I needed. A reminder that no matter how deep we feel we get or how much we feel like we are drowning, the Lord will bring us up again. That He is in control. Through all the storms and breaking waves.
That experience set the stage of my faith and trust in Heavenly Father for the rest of my life. That He knows what's going on with me. And He knows how much it sucks and how sometimes it feels like there's no end. But that in the end, there is going to be the best reward waiting for us...IF we do our part and follow the commandments. In a world where more and more people demand to have things given to them, it is easy to forget that Exaltation is not free.
Leading up to all of this heart stuff I have had a very trying year. A year where the plan that I had in my head for my life didn't work out and I had to re-evaluate a lot of things. Through it all, I was reminded over and over that Heavenly Father is aware of me and that with the help of so many great people, I can survive anything.
The day after I found out about my heart murmur I went to the temple. For the LDS Church the temple is a sacred building where faithful members of the church are able to go and participate in sacred ordinances. It is considered a house of the Lord and has gotten me through a lot of life's craziness and also all of life's uncraziness. Long story short, it's amazing, peaceful and one of my most favorite places.
In the temple, I was studying the story of Lazarus (I hadn't planned on studying that particular story...it just happened). I found this scripture and it stuck with me for the next week and a half. This is after Lazarus' sisters told Christ that their brother is really sick. This was His response.
John 11:4 When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.
That scripture struck a chord. I had no idea what was going on with me. I had no idea what was going to happen. I had no idea what it would all mean. But whatever it was, I was going to use it in a positive light. That kind of started the sharing on the blog.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the church of Christ restored on the Earth. It has the Priesthood to help the organization and help members. Priesthood Blessings are given to those that ask. They can be given for many purposes. By Sunday "minor to moderate abnormalities" was bouncing around through my head and appearing in everything I thought about. The theme for sacrament meeting was "Be still and know the Lord is in control." I was trying to take that all in and try to get around those dumb words Minor to moderate abnormalities......
I decided to ask for a Priesthood blessing. I'm so grateful I could and I did. It was a comfort blessing. It talked about how faith is like a muscle and sometimes you have to break it down a little bit to work it up and build it up even stronger. Just like working out. There were a lot of other things it talked about, including Heavenly Father's awareness of me and how this trial is going to affect me. Honestly, that's all I need. It is going to be super sucky sometimes. When it comes time for surgery it will be really scary and who knows what else. But I believe that I knew I was getting myself into this when I decided to come down to this Earth. I know that Heavenly Father aches with us. That He loves each and every one of us. He lets us make our own choices and our own mistakes because He knows that is how we learn and grow. He has given us the Savior so that when we make our mistakes, if we repent, we can be washed clean and return to live with Him again.
So how do I feel now? Calm. Scared. Worried how this is going to effect those that I'm close to. Glad for the excuses I get to use from now on. Excited for this new adventure and all the things I'm going to learn from it. Always ready for a hug. Ready to use this to get closer to Christ and Heavenly Father. Lazy when it comes to thinking of the changes in my diet I should make. Grateful for the reminder that life is shorter than we realize and that we don't have all the time in the world to procrastinate what we just need to suck up and take care of now, and that we shouldn't waste precious time fighting with those we love over dumb stuff. No longer going to make dumb things keep me from enjoying and living life to the fullest (I've got to come up with some of my own really great stories to last for eternity.)
This life can be hard and full of not so pretty crap and I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have and for my faith that can get me through all of that. Because it is also beautiful and amazing and full of wonderful experiences and moments. My faith may not appeal to everyone, but it is the BEST thing in my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
***If you would like to learn more or have questions check out mormon.org or lds.org***
1 comment:
I love you. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It helps me. And others.
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